CelestialRose’s blog

I can totally relate to this guy:

Saturday! Whitest Kids U Know

I like to laugh.  If I had to be serious all the time, I know I'd go insane. A sense of humour is so important to how you view life.  When you have a sense of humour, you can get through anything.  I know this from experience. 

Last year I went through a pretty bad bout of depression.  I'd never gone through anything like that before, and I hope not to go through anything like that again.  It started the day I lost my job due to the company downsizing.  Eventhough I knew it wasn't anything I did (my bosses made sure I knew they'd keep me if they could), it still affected me.  I didn't cry or become severely withdrawn like you would expect.  I went completely numb.  That was back in December of 2006.  I thought once the shock wore off my feelings would return, but they didn't.  For 7 months I went through life feeling nothing.  I tried to talk to someone outside my family about it (see post on forgiveness), and instead of helping me, the person tried to demonize me and separate me from my family. To make a long story short, I withdrew from my family, found solace in the computer, and hit bottom at the end of July.  It was then that my husband had had enough and stepped in. Although the tactics he used weren't the best (he agrees with me on this now), he refused to give up on me, told the Pastor who was trying to separate us to stay out of our lives, and prevented me from hurting myself.  Over time, and with my husband's help, I began to heal, and to feel again.  It was tough. There were a lot of things I hadn't dealt with that came out, but through it all, I slowly began to see the humour in even the most dark situations.  I started to laugh again, and found that it's impossible to be depressed when you laugh at yourself. 

I honestly don't know how people survive without a sense of humour.  When there is no joy in life, I can see why people feel it isn't worth living.  But life is worth it.  Take it from someone who went through the darkness, and came out laughing.

Has anyone ever done something so horrible to you that "I'm sorry" couldn't fix it?

In a nutshell, yes, I have had someone do something so horrible that saying "I'm sorry" is not nearly enough to fix it.  Once the trust is gone, it's gone.  There is no getting it back.  I think it's even worse when that person professes to be a "Pastor", then hurts my family.  No...there are no words that could ever fix that.  The only thing that I can hope for is that in time the memories will fade and the pain will lessen, and that maybe, someday, I will be able to trust church people again. 

What fictional character do you relate to most and why?

I would have to say the fictional character I relate to the most is actually a combination of two characters. One is Nymphadora Tonks, or "Tonks", from the Harry Potter books.  Why I relate to her is because she is always changing what she looks like, which is something I do quite frequently as well. She also has a good sense of humour and has no problem laughing at herself, which is a lot like me as well.

The second character I relate to is Willow, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Personality wise, I am quite a bit like her. I have a lot of quirks, say off the wall things ("bored now" is one of my favourite sayings), and I am interested in the occult (but no..not a wiccan).  I'm also fiercely loyal  to those I love, just as Willow's character was. 

This seems like a very interesting place.  I've been looking for something like this, and have been on Xanga for quite some time, but Vox seems to have it all.  We'll see...